[Chilly Willy]

http://the-space-sta...ti-touch-guitar

[rob]

Can you get chicks with it?

No!

So, it's not a guitar.

[jahloon]

Dear Uncle Rob,

I've got lots of guitars, and one chick.

What has gone wrong?

[rob]

To get as many chicks as you want with your guitar:

1) Plug guitar into amp (Fender is better for chicks, then Vox, next Marshall, and last is Roland)

2) Place amp horizontal on pedestal.

3) Provide nesting materials.

4) The birds will flock to you.

On a more serious point, I think the actual number of birds doesn't correlate with the number of guitars. I think the actual correlation is with how low you sling it.

[jahloon]

rob, on Jan 22 2010, 04:34 AM, said:

3) Provide nesting materials.

Are these pedals & effects?

[corcoran]

rob, on Jan 22 2010, 05:34 AM, said:

To get as many chicks as you want with your guitar:

1) Plug guitar into amp (Fender is better for chicks, then Vox, next Marshall, and last is Roland)

Where does acoustic image come on the "get chicks" list?

rob, on Jan 22 2010, 05:34 AM, said:

2) Place amp horizontal on pedestal.

Again baffled, the acoustic image is intrinsically vertical - having a vertical downfiring subwoofer, and therefore best on the floor...

rob, on Jan 22 2010, 05:34 AM, said:

3) Provide nesting materials.

Yes, pedals and effects mixed in with the odd scatter cushion, bicardi breezer and a few tabs of rohypnol (?)

[corcoran]

rob, on Jan 22 2010, 05:34 AM, said:

4) The birds will flock to you.

On a more serious point, I think the actual number of birds doesn't correlate with the number of guitars. I think the actual correlation is with how low you sling it.

To be honest, when I had stacks and played loud and dirty squiggley-wiggly-widdley-wee type metal - I'd only ever attract the medium to slightly fat chicks with shaggley bleech blond mullets, bon jovi T shirts, ski pants, pixie boots, suede tassled cropped patchwork jackets and bad teeth....

Though I'd advise avoiding playing Myers' cavatina in restaurants overrun with a middle aged hen party - or batchelorette party as you call it in the states

[Chilly Willy]

rob, on Jan 21 2010, 06:14 PM, said:

Can you get chicks with it?

No!

So, it's not a guitar.

Rob,
you impress me! Such a statement can only be made by a man with life experience! You should write a book!

Gary,
nylon strings is NOT sexy, sorry mate. I would place a stack of Marshalls with a low slung Strat or Les Paul as numero uno to attract young birds. If you like the intellectual type, play an Archtop and make sure you are wearing a hat.......

Jeff,
Nothing wrong with having one woman and many guitars. It is cheaper to change strings that maintain a bunch of shop-frenzy women!

[rob]

corcoran, on Jan 22 2010, 10:53 AM, said:

rob, on Jan 22 2010, 05:34 AM, said:

To get as many chicks as you want with your guitar:

1) Plug guitar into amp (Fender is better for chicks, then Vox, next Marshall, and last is Roland)

Where does acoustic image come on the "get chicks" list?

Ah good question. In the 70's - 90's it would have gotten you nowhere. But now, as long as you stick to the university associated art houses and coffee shops, you'll pull them in in batches.

Of course, none of them will be crack heads and meth addicts like you can hope to get with your Les Paul and Fender Twin. No, these birds are going to have an 85% probability of being psychology majors.

[rob]

jahloon, on Jan 22 2010, 07:41 AM, said:

rob, on Jan 22 2010, 04:34 AM, said:

3) Provide nesting materials.

Are these pedals & effects?

Well first off, I blew the instructions. it's supposed to be

2) Place guitar horizontal on pedestal.

Now that we have that cleared up, I suppose the best nesting material would depend on the particular species of bird you want to attract. Those in the video seemed to go for twigs and string. Willie seems to be aiming for the "old stinky leather with beer stains" variety. Whereas Gaz seems to be heading for the paper from hard cover books and light gauze drapings sort.

[rob]

corcoran, on Jan 22 2010, 10:58 AM, said:

...
Though I'd advise avoiding playing Myers' cavatina in restaurants overrun with a middle aged hen party - or batchelorette party as you call it in the states

Does sound dangerous. Do you charge hazardous duty pay in these situations?

[Chilly Willy]

rob, on Jan 22 2010, 06:18 PM, said:

Willie seems to be aiming for the "old stinky leather with beer stains" variety.

[corcoran]

niehorster, on Jan 22 2010, 02:21 PM, said:

nylon strings is NOT sexy, sorry mate.

[rob]

Quote

Quote

nylon strings is NOT sexy, sorry mate.

I think he meant the other way \'round. Like you holding nylon string does not bring in the pictured lass.

Quote

...

The class ring is a nice touch. But really I meant that you would provide the stinky beer stained leather and she would come nest in it. Not that you should go nest in the stinky beer stained leather.

[corcoran]

rob, on Jan 22 2010, 08:20 PM, said:

I think he meant the other way \'round. Like you holding nylon string does not bring in the pictured lass.

...

bearing in mind that the chances of me or anything vaguely connected to me being in the slightest bit sexy is as likely as a pole vaulting slug, I had to find an alternative example..

the 'lass' in the picture is Ana Vidovic. Yes, she may be a veritable babe, but that fact diminishes in importance magnanimously in the wake of her guitar mastery...



unlike yer average middle aged cock swinging chick sleighing rocky mojo master.....